I'm going to hell.
No, really. I am. I know, you're shocked! I was, too. I mean, I really am a nice, decent, if somewhat perverted and bitchy person. I try to live my life in a way that doesn't harm others. But this means nothing; I'm still going to hell. And this here's why:
First, let me preface by saying I love Christmas, and embrace the spirit of giving and love and peace that it brings. Unfortunately I have a mouth like a sailor and a mild case of road rage. Not the: Knock-out-your-windshield-with-a-nine-iron kind of road rage. But rather the: I-think-that-all-other-drivers-are-idiots-and-shouldn't-be-allowed-behind-the-wheel kind.
With that said, this is me for most of the Christmas season. (Me singing along to KOSI 101) 'Oh, Holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the morn of our dear savior's birth. What the fuck are you doing, you stupid-ass motherfucker?!?! What the fuck is wrong with you? I swear to the sweet baby Jesus, you are the son of a whore.' And that's me yelling in my car at the top of my lungs (which have considerable power) after someone cut me off or is going like 15 in a 50 mph zone or just being an asshole in general. One minute I'm praising the birth of the Son of God and the next, I'm taking his name in vain and using profanity.
And that, my friends, is a surefire ticket to hell.
Pray for me
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I like your style.
For over a year my friends & I never went anywhere in my car because it was a POS & a deathtrap. When I finally got a new car, I was all excited to take it everywhere, and all my friends were shocked at my road rage, because I don't say much when I'm a passenger, but I cuss, use very creative sign language, and blare my horn when I'm driving. I was finally told it didn't matter that I no longer drove a death trap, my roadrage was unsettling & we weren't taking my car.
Wimps.
Hon' if that's the case then you will have lots of company with you myself included. I too cannot stand it when you have slow drivers in the passing lane nor can I stand tailgaters either. I generally try to reframe from using profanity when anyone else is riding as a passenger but when I'm by myself then the expletives are flying out of my mouth like a drunkin' sailor. Hey Mitch I think I saw you the other day while driving and that was my mom you were using that creative sign language with-hehehe.
Regina
Post a Comment