Sunday, August 10, 2008

I'm evil

I always thought that the commercial with the old lady who falls down the stairs and says 'Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!' was HiLaRiOus! Not that old ladies falling is funny but the acting and the obvious set up of the fall made me chuckle.

Now they have an updated version of that commercial. I just saw it and it just gave me a huge belly laugh because the 'old' lady is about 20 years younger and she's in a darkened studio with nothing to indicate what she may have tripped over and she's looking directly into the camera saying her 'Can't get up' line. And just in case there's any doubt, it's subtitled beneath her tortured face.

I laughed so hard.

I'm evil.

What I know about geography...

Could fit into a thimble.

Now, I never said that I was good at everything. I'm a genius, I know, but even Einstein couldn't tie his shoes.

It's just that every once in a while, the glaring spotlight of my ignorance will shine through and I'm unmanned. Or un-(wo)manned in this scenario.

Case in point: The geographic proximity of China to Alaska. I have always believed that China was on the opposite end of the earth from the U.S. But when you're dealing with a sphere, the 'opposite' end of the world is not that far considering it wraps around.

I spent at least an hour last night marveling at how close China is to Alaska. Really, they're only separated by the Bering Sea. How is that possible?

China is here and Alaska is right here. (You can't see my demonstration but trust me, they are really fucking close!)

Why don't I know this? And why when I tell people I don't know this they look at me as though I've got buck teeth and am drooling profusely from my mouth?

Seriously, geography is one of the few categories on Jeopardy! that could floor me.

I kick ass at Trivial Pursuit and the home game of Jeopardy! As a Gemini, I have an endless capacity for useless information.

That must be it!

Geography is use-ful information.