I love football. No, I adore football. If football were a real man, I'd be his love slave and allow him unfettered access to my body. THAT'S how much I love football. Most days, football loves me back.
Fantasy football, however, hates me with a passion. For the second year in a row, I am LAST in my fantasy football league. I am a laughingstock. People now stop and point at me on the street and whisper behind my back that my team, Moe's Joes, are now 0-4. They shake their heads in shame as they ask what kind of football fan am I.
A very sad one.
Now, some women who read this may be asking themselves how another of their kindred can be so devoted to such a violent and immature game. To them I say, have you ever taken the time to WATCH a game. To see modern-day warriors take the field in a battle of wits, skill, and brawn is truly an almost holy experience.
Plus they wear really tight pants and most times have great asses.
For me, I think that football is an outlet for all of my pent-up aggression. Since I can't necessarily go around tackling all the people that get on my nerves (mostly because I'd never even have time sleep) I have to get my jollies some way.
What about you? How do you release frustration?
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8 comments:
Certainly not frustrated by this blog...And I hate football!
But I read through to the touhdown.
Good stuff. Highly publishable!
Ivan
I get rid of frustration in the normal fashion. Either sex or hitting something. Sometimes both at once. Just kidding. Kind of.
I play techno music really loud and dance completely in the nude with my curtains and windows wide open, screaming at the top of my voice what I would do to Hugh Jackman if he was mine!
Chandra
I like football, but I haven't watched it in some time. I'll try and catch a game this weekend. I hope your team does better.
"Plus they wear really tight pants and most times have great asses."
Now that in itself is a really good reason to watch football but alas it still isn't enough to keep me interest unless they start showing the guys naked in the showers after the game then it would have my undivided attention.
Yeah baby!!
Virginia
Ivan- Thanks for the support.
Jaye- Hmmm. You learn something new everyday.
Chandra- Your neighbors must LOVE you.
Nicole- Sniff, sniff. Thanks. I've got a good line up but for some reason or another, they're just not producing.
Virginia- We can only pray for that day to come. Men would be the ones complaining that they're wives spend too much time watching television.
Kolby- fantasy football you and your friends create a football league. Next, you pick your 'fantasy' offensive line. Then there's a draft where you may or may not get your picks. Each week you go up against another team in your league. Your players earn points for the things that they've done in their real games. The person with the most points wins the match and the person with the most total points in the league wins the Championship.
Kolby-
Each player on your team gets points for the things that they do in the game, i.e. how many touchdowns they get or how many running yards they have. At the end of the weekend, the team with the most points wins the fantasy match and the person with the most points at the end of the season is the champ.
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