It's time that I introduced the world to a group of women that I call the EBW- Evil Bitch Whores. Now, this is a special category reserved for a certain type of woman.
Please don't misunderstand. I'm not a misongynist. Some of my best friends are women. But as with everything there are the proverbial 'bad apples.' Or immensely evil crazy bitches. Both men and women.
Evil Bitch Whores are women who amplify everything that is wrong with the world. They're narcissistic. They prey on the misery of others. They create misery in other people's lives. The worse part is that they somehow always come out smelling like roses. It's never that they did anything wrong. It's always turned back on you. Other people like them. There are moments of normality. But they can turn just as quickly. Cross her and she will make it her life's mission to make sure that you pay.
They do it with a smile on their faces and a knife behind their back or in yours.
Don't get me wrong. I don't want to be too gloom and doom, They're not always the Devil Incarnate. They can be arrogant, self-agrandizing, sanctimonious, self-involved, patronizing, or just plain stupid.
And because I consider myself an evil bitch- not to be confused with an Evil Bitch Whore- I'm also a bit petty. So, I include those women (and men) that I simply don't like.
Now, I have my own list of EBWs. There is even a Queen of the EBWs-well more of a shared title. I will reveal my Queens but I must warn you that there will be an outcry the likes of which the earth has never seen. So when you read the next sentence please keep your scream to that of a low roar.
The Queens of the Evil Bitch Whores are: Martha Stewart and Oprah Winfrey. I cannot stand these women. Martha for the obvious reasons. But Oprah you may ask. Why Oprah? Well, the simple answer is that I hate her. I can't stand her. I am the first to admit that she has done a lot for a lot of people. She is an incredible philanthropist. She is also incredibly fake. I think she is out of touch with the common person. She is sanctimonious and presumptuous and thinks her shit doesn't stink. That's just my opinion. I don't actually know her but I'm sure that I don't want to either.
There are also EBWs that don't reach the status of Queen. Mine are too numerous and my time limited.
Okay. So what brought about this discussion?
I'm watching Larry King Live with Dr. Laura Schlessinger. This bitch is out of her fucking mind. I literally cannot believe the steaming, heaping piles of shit that come out of her mouth. She basically said that women belong in the home, raising her children, and catering to her husband's every whim, sexually and otherwise. They shouldn't work outside the home, they should be self-sacrificing drones, and be happy about it.
Don't get me wrong. I am all for women being good mothers and wives. But I think the way that this is defined is different for everyone. If you want to work outside the home and need to put your child in daycare, that DOES NOT make you a bad mother.
But Dr. Bitch would tell you differently. She would tell you that you need to be at home raising your children, cooking their meals, and screwing your husband blind. Women are to be submissive towards their husbands.
But Dr. Laura, I'm a single mother. What do I do? Dr. Laura says that you need should move in with your parents and only work at night. Simple really.
Premarital sex? Never!
Women should act like 'unpaid whores.' But only for their husbands. Direct quote. Lay back and open your legs, ladies! Not in the mood? You will be. Just let him rut on top of you for a few minutes and eventually you'll have an orgasm.
But what if I'm not happy, not fulfilled? You should get the joy in your life from taking care of your family and catering to your husband. How could you not be happy?
She has now made the Queen of the Evil Bitch Whores a triumvate.
If you had a league of EBWs, who would make the cut?
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4 comments:
"She is also incredibly fake. I think she is out of touch with the common person. She is sanctimonious and presumptuous and thinks her shit doesn't stink. That's just my opinion. I don't actually know her but I'm sure that I don't want to either."
I find it interesting that you see Oprah this way because she seems to be in touch with reality which is why she goes out of her way to help people period. Just because she isn't doing things the way YOU want her to doesn't mean diddley missy. She started her own company she employs women and she is the type of employer we would all like to have but we don't and she is the type of person we'd all like to know but we don't so I understand that opinions are just like assholes because evryone has one but you belong on your own list and if any of your books ever make it in print and on her show make sure to bow out gracefully if she should decide to help promote you or at least send her your blog.
What the hell is she suppose to do stand on her fucking head to please people like you.
Judy
I am still laughing. What a scarey delusional freak! She lives not far from my abode. She writes a column in newspaper here. Maybe 3 people like her, I don't know any of them. She is being nicer to her "biological error" & people think she maybe preparing to come out about her son. We'll see. He is a man now. HOW MANY LIES DID SHE TELL LAST NIGHT? The part about hubbies 3 children, she may allow him contact but she's a jealous witch. Oprah lives here, too, she's not been so human to the community of late. Hopefully, she'll come through.
Judy- Oprah doesn't have to do to please me. Who am I? I'm an asshole with an opinion. I seriously doubt that any of my books would make her book club but I will be sure to decline. And if you read my blog carefully, I don't deny that Oprah does a lot of good in the world. I just don't happen to like her. No Big.
Lolita- Dr. Laura is crazy.
Yikes.
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