The MacBook Just Gave Me An Orgasm

So I plan on buying a MacBook next week because my current laptop is a piece of crap. And while I realize that this will put me further away from my dream of being totally debt free by a couple more months, it is a necessary purchase. The laptop that I have now I literally want to snap in half. If it were possible to actually break it over my knee and toss that shit out the window then I would.

And yes, I do have a desktop but that's more of the family computer and I need the laptop for when I'm writing which is usually late at nite or at coffee shops.

So I decided on the Mac because, A) they're cool and B) I used to always use Macs because they were just the better computer. They still are. So, I've been searching and comparing prices and while the MacBook has more upfront costs, they are cheaper in the long run, especially considering I won't have to deal with antivirus software or subscriptions.

I did give serious consideration to the PC. But there is something about the MacBook that draws me to it. I spend hours endlessly on line, staring at pictures and watching videos. It's like geek porn to me. Pleasure vibrates through me as I shift through these pictures and videos. It's like fire racing across my skin that burns so bright and so sweet that I would gladly get lost in the flame.

Just tonight, I was looking at photos of my MacBook to be. I was caressing the screen as though I could feel the softness through the LCD display on my crap machine. I bit my lip to keep from moaning aloud as I imagined rolling around in a field of wildflowers with my new Mac. I shivered as I thought of what it would be like to get my hands on him. And yes, my Mac, is a man. Unlike all of my other machines, like BABs (synonym for Bad Ass Bitch) my iPod or Midnight, my Honda.

I envision him to be a smart yet cool Quirky but down to earth. We spend hours together discussing Proust but our evening are reserved for Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow. He wears funky sweaters with hip jeans ripped at the knees and scuffed Vans. We are a perfect fit. We go hand in hand to out of the way cafes and at night I use him without mercy.

Yes folks, tonight a MacBook gave me an orgasm and I am still shuddering from the aftereffects.

Sigh!

God Bless Steve Jobs!