Waxing and Whining

This is one of those days when I'm grateful for the anonymity of the internet because I'm about to tell a story that I probably won't tell anyone else in my life.

So for the past few months I've noticed a rather conspicuous growth of hair on my upper lips. At least it was noticeable to me since I look at myself in a mirror at least once a day. So this week I was at my local K-Mart buying stuff to shave my legs when I noticed face waxing strips and I figured 'What the hell' and I bought them.

So that night, when all in the house had gone to bed, I waxed. HOLY SHIT! Not only did that shit hurt like hell, it was awfully effective. The dofference was blatantly obvious. I literally stared at myself in the mirror for almost 10 min. I could tell that something was different.

And now, my mind panics. Did people think I was growing a moustache? Were they staring at my Groucho Marx? How long have people been staring at the stache? Could I grow into the bearded lady?

But is there any polite way to tell a woman that she's grown a moustache? Even of she were your best friend? "Listen, girl, you need to do something about that caterpillar growing on your lip." Most women, including myself, would want to sink into the floor.

Yet, we have no qualms about telling our friends if they have broccoli in their teeth. We want to know those things. In fact, I was at work the other day and told a co-worker she had blueberry stuck in her teeth and she was positively grateful.

Zippers are another matter. It's hard to tell someone that their zipper is down. Do you want to let someone know that you were looking at their package or snatch as it were? No. But we all look. Something that catches our eye, something other a flaccid penis.

But then we're caught in a quandry. How do we inform a person that they're junk is in the wind?