I've never proclaimed to be a fashion expert. I don't know DKNY from Chanel. But even in my limited experience I know that there are certain things that must never be done. Ever.
1. No booty shorts in church- even if they are the 'classy' ones that look like a pair of nice plaid pants that some hoochie chopped off just before they reached the lower curve of your ass. Now while I have no problem with this at the club. In fact, I think it's quite cute. But don't wear them to church. God's house deserves more respect than your half-moon. For that matter, there are any number of things that you shouldn't wear in church. T-shirts that say 'I'm with Stupid' or 'Co-ed Naked Volleyball.'
2. Men should never wear cut off shorts. EVER. Not unless you live in rural Alabama and are sitting in front of your trailer, cigarette dangling from your mouth with a can of Budweiser in a beer cozy. If this happens to describe you, then go on with your bad self. If not, then can I interest you in a nice pair of bermuda shorts, or a pair of Dockers perhaps?
3. Fat people- including myself- should not wear clothes that cause the following body parts to hang out: belly, ass, or thighs. Now if you want to play up your assets, more power to you. Let those titties run free. Ain't no shame in your game. But at all time, remember, classy can be sexy. Honestly, those looks aren't even all that on skinny bitches.
Now, I'm sure that there are more Crimes that I haven't reported. What's on your Most Wanted List? Better yet, What are your Pet Peeves?
Ciao
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4 comments:
My favorite crime that apparently hasn't gone away yet is the visible thong up the crack while wear low rider jeans and now it's being accompanied by a tatoo above the crack but above the thong.
This style of dress actually made an appearence at an school function meeting on the backside of an parent.
I have a motto in life that I have had for YEARS! and actually I saw it on a t-shirt once and almost fell out because it just validated what I have been saying all along. Its this: KNOW YOUR LIMITS!! From 8 to 80..know your limits.
I always thought about this in respect to fashion mostly.
I'm old school. Simple and classy NEVER goes out of style and you know something...it works on anyone from 8 to 80, thin, fat, short, tall, whatever.
Random thought
I'm one of those "skinny bitches" and must say I wear what pleases me and hope everyone else does. Sure sometimes my eyes bulge when I see something that shouldn't be, but I'm generally a live and dress how you want kinda gal! :-. PERHAPS, I do have a problem with kids who are, in my very open minded opinion ;-)dressed too "grown" for their age....
Chandra
Uh- Anonymous #1, I agree. the visible thong is never attractive. I once saw that 'thong' look actually constructed into the jeans/
Anonymous #2- That's a great motto.
Chandra- Go on with you bad self. You should always wear what makes you feel comfortable. But when someone KNOWS that what they're wearing is just wrong, they should be prepared to be the object of the ridicule by evil bitches like myself.
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